~

                                                   I need blood in my caffeine system!

B-ness!

The day after B had his 8th birthday, Z called him like this: "Oyii, Aath-Saala, meri baat suno idhar aa ker."

An indignant B rushed off to Mom and complains: "Bhai ne mujhe gaali di hai. He called me 'Aath-Saala'."

                                                *****************************

What do you call 'andhay' in English?

B, after much contemplation: "Don't-See-Man."

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B, Z and Sam whiling away time during a loadshedding schedule:

Z: "Did you know B, that we picked up Sam from Peshawar. She was an abandoned baby."

B looks at Sam for affirmation and she nods.

B: "Liar! I'll go ask Mom and Dad. I know both of you are pulling my leg."

Mom and Dad were in on the joke so they said yes to the enquiry.

B thinks the whole matter through, comes sit by Sam and says, "OK, I'm un-sistering you now."

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Potential farewells!

Dear Blog,

I know I promised of regularity but then I realised that you are just a mere blog afterall. If Zardari can get away with so much moolah, I can turn 180 degrees on my measley, half-hearted promise too, and nobody would be any the wiser.

In direct, clear words: Stop nagging the hell out of me! I would post something when I really really have to. Just because I have a blog and I have a couple of posts all written and edited in my mind, does not mean that I would actually make the effort of publishing it online. I am not going to apologize for my procrastinating laziness.

So, I'd see you next time I'm suffocating of boredom, and not a moment sooner.

Goodbye, maybe forever.

The discovery of buried lurve!

There's nothing like the doom of Pakistani politics to bring out the love and unity between my parents!

Confusion

Is it still monsoons or has autumn decided to visit early this year?

Resemblance

When an ex-rebound fling of mine (with whom I have to precariously manage a platonic relationship with, due to numerous reasons) text me out of the blue and tell me I resemble a pornstar (Eva Angelina), is it justice enough that I crush his balls with a nutcracker?

Whats in a name?

It's hard to make peace with your name when its one of the most commonly used adjectives in hair removing cream adverts!

Wasted # 3

I just spent the whole of the last hour watching a classmate-from-school's friend's husband's random videos!
*facebook stalking*



P.S. Have you noticed how facebook is now compacting the notifications. Like, if five people have commented on the same friend's status updates, it's going to come up as one notification. I don't like that. Having double digit notifications made me feel good at the end of a tiring day!

Wasted # 2

I am such a sucker for horoscopes. Its the first thing I look for, in a newspaper or a magazine. While browsing www.msn.com, www.msn.co.uk, www.horoscopes.com, I read all my daily, weekly, monthly, career, money horoscopes. And then the chinese horoscopes (I'm a rabbit) and Numerology (Number 5). In recent times, I have stopped reading Love horoscopes (because for me, they are totally irrelevant), Tarot card readings (because they look a bit fluke-y to me) and Teen horoscopes (because I'm not a teen anymore *sob sob*). The start of any new month is exciting for me for hopes of interesting times, change of weather, new birthdays , pay day, but especially because the new monthly horoscopes would be updated (pathetic, na?)

My most favorite horoscopes were published in the London Paper, which was a free evening paper that I used to grab from the guy outside London Bridge Underground Station on my way back from university. Sadly, London Paper couldn't fight the Recession and had to eventually wind up.

However, the most interesting fact is that the minute I log off these horoscope webpages or turn over the pages in the newspapers/magazines, I forget what the horoscope said and carry on. For the life of me, I never remember a word of any of the forecasts that I read.

wasted # 1

Some days, I dont feel like doing anything but sitting back and watching Zoom on youtube.

With a pinch of salt!

Yesterday, Xeb talked about embedded patriotism and how her parents decided to stay back in Pakistan, when all around them people were flocking to Canada. This made me think back to the beginning of this decade when my parents didn't take the plunge to shift over either. I wished the reason behind it was patriotism too.

It was not. It was indecisiveness, and ego fusses over petty issues. They still haven't decided.

Here's a toast to 25 years of non-stop bickerings, moodswings, constant shouting, ego maniac-ism, control freakishness and lack of trust. I wish I could have brought you a cake and pretty cards and gifts for your Silver Jubilee Anniversary this October. But you guys just make it too hard for me to dine with you.


Yeah, thats why I have been eating alone for the past 10 months. I didn't want to be impolite and tell you on your face that eating with you guys, or even being in the same room, is a torturous experience.

Lust!

If you had truly loved me, you would have bought me some turqoise shoes......

 

...... and some nail color to match!

    *sighs*