Corny Guilt!

So when I failed my CFA Level 1 exams, on top of an abysmal academic year, which was a new experience for me, I didn't have the guts to admit my failures to my mom over long-distance telephone. Thus, I lied to everyone and said I've passed. Me being super-emotional (still am) and righteous (not anymore), felt extremely guilty and came up with this extremely corny urdu poem on 8th February 2009:

Khuhsiyon ki chah may jhoot ka jaal bichaya tha

Uss jhoot ko sach bananay may aik jhoot aur bataya tha

Tanhai kay unn pallon may aik aansu aur bahaya tha

Phir khud hi apni aasteen se, chehray se ussay hataya tha

Gunahon ki daldal may paiyr kuch aur dhansaya tha

Shaitaan kay perokaaron may naam apna kerwaya tha

Aagay qadam barhatay thay tu peechay hotay jatay thay

Nakaami kay aisay mor per aansu bhi kho jatay thay

Rangeen logon kay railay may tanhai ne saalum nigla tha

Zubaan tu saaf hui, per munafqat ka jhamela tha

Aaj jo qalam pakra, lafzon ne bair baandh lia

Jaisay hi dil azaad hua, khawahishon ne munh mor lia

Kuch paanay ki raah may kuch chahnay say bi haath dhoya tha

Jaisay khizaan kay nangay darakhto ka meri khirki per saaya tha

Jahan waqt aik qeemti sarmaya tha

Pura saal aik kursi pe jhooltay ganwaya tha

Ab khuda se yehi hai guzarish

Aqal, hidayat, seedha rasata, taufeeq ki ho baarish.

P.S. Kindly do not judge me on this. I'm not the same person anymore!

P.S.S. Everyone still thinks I cleared my CFA Level 1 and are baffled at why I'm not studying further.