Boredom!

Tick tock,

Went the keyboard.

I was bored,

To the core.

Nobody online,

Even at nine.

Logged in at orkut,

Took a bite of Tuc,

Just two new scraps,

And that too, from the lover of rap.

The Birth!

The pains;

Mutterings of the doctor;

Wetness.

The catching of my breath,

The express train.

The big push;

I shat a football.

My baby had arrived!

Death!

*Tring Tring*

*Tring Tring*

*Tring Tring*

I picked up the phone,

And said: “Hello?”

I was told,

He had died!

Corny Guilt!

So when I failed my CFA Level 1 exams, on top of an abysmal academic year, which was a new experience for me, I didn't have the guts to admit my failures to my mom over long-distance telephone. Thus, I lied to everyone and said I've passed. Me being super-emotional (still am) and righteous (not anymore), felt extremely guilty and came up with this extremely corny urdu poem on 8th February 2009:

Khuhsiyon ki chah may jhoot ka jaal bichaya tha

Uss jhoot ko sach bananay may aik jhoot aur bataya tha

Tanhai kay unn pallon may aik aansu aur bahaya tha

Phir khud hi apni aasteen se, chehray se ussay hataya tha

Gunahon ki daldal may paiyr kuch aur dhansaya tha

Shaitaan kay perokaaron may naam apna kerwaya tha

Aagay qadam barhatay thay tu peechay hotay jatay thay

Nakaami kay aisay mor per aansu bhi kho jatay thay

Rangeen logon kay railay may tanhai ne saalum nigla tha

Zubaan tu saaf hui, per munafqat ka jhamela tha

Aaj jo qalam pakra, lafzon ne bair baandh lia

Jaisay hi dil azaad hua, khawahishon ne munh mor lia

Kuch paanay ki raah may kuch chahnay say bi haath dhoya tha

Jaisay khizaan kay nangay darakhto ka meri khirki per saaya tha

Jahan waqt aik qeemti sarmaya tha

Pura saal aik kursi pe jhooltay ganwaya tha

Ab khuda se yehi hai guzarish

Aqal, hidayat, seedha rasata, taufeeq ki ho baarish.

P.S. Kindly do not judge me on this. I'm not the same person anymore!

P.S.S. Everyone still thinks I cleared my CFA Level 1 and are baffled at why I'm not studying further.

Quotations!

Another bundle of quotations that I found scribbled here and there in my papers. They might have meant something at that time. For now, they are just old memories and meaningless words. Nonetheless, here they are:

Deeper natures never forget themselves and never become something other than they were ~ Kierkegaard

Music should strike fire from the heart of man, and bring tears from the eyes of a woman ~ Ludwig Van Beethoven. 

If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for passionate sense of potential – for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints; possibility never ~ Kierkegaard

Random phrase, from M's days!

(Hey, my title rhymes! :D)

People usually get songs stuck in their head; back in the days, random phrases just coined themselves in my grey matter and wouldn't go away for weeks. 

A similar phrase that came to me one day in Musharraf's enlightened moderation era and pinged me so much that I had to scribble it down at the back of my notebook:

"A socialist spray paint message on the walls of capitalism."

Tassalli to self!

The other day, I was going through old documents and found in them, tucked neatly, a scrap of paper with the following note written on it:

23^rd July 2006, 3:30 pm approximately,

J’s flight to London.

Underneath it, a wistful me consoling myself: ‘I would never fly out of Lahore in the middle of monsoons!’

A year of struggle, and I was following him to another continent. Spent two years and then followed each other back to where we started from.